Everywhere around me there's sunshine and blue sky
But inside me I feel a storm coming
I can feel the thunder and see the lightning
My emotions are in an uproar
My dreams are fighting my reality
I'm doing everything I can to keep back the rain
I'm fighting the rain
I'm fighting the rain
I'M FIGHTING THE RAIN
Sigh…I don't want it to rain
I don't want to acknowledge the pain that brings the rain
But I am weak, mentally and physically drained…
I'm tired
I can't hold back anymore
I give in
…and so the rain begins
And I remember
I feel
I cry
I SCREAM
I BLAME
I MOURN
I RANT AND RAVE!!!
…until I am empty of all those emotions inside of me
I feel drained
I sleep
I wake up feeling new
Energetic
Alive
…Hungry for life, for love
I feel cleansed…
Ready to begin again
**Sometimes, all you need is a good cry.
So go ahead cry, release your pain, and begin anew.
Interestling enough this discribes the feelings I experienced at the loss of my grandmother. I did not want to have relief from that pain. It almost felt disrepectful to want the relief because I loved and still love her so deeply. I did not want to acknowledge the void yet I had no choice. I faught the tears because I knew they would bring a certain amount of comfort and I wanted none. I only wanted her.
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