Just over a year ago I was just a regular wife and mother. But now I am a “Army Wife”! I’m still not sure what the difference is. Other than learning a few new rules and regulations it seems the same to me. I’m still expected to be a super woman. I still have a house to clean, children to raise and a husband to please (wink).
Since I have been an official “Army Wife” I have discovered that I have a personal problem with the military wives groups, either online or in person. I don't do the bickering or back biting. I don't want to meet up and make cookies. I’m NOT going to bring my children every time we plan a get together and no offense I don’t want to see yours either... sometimes I just need a break. I don’t make friends so that our husbands can be friends. I don’t care what rank your husband is and I don’t answer questions about mine…unless I want to. I'm not going to stand out on the porch and gossip about what's happening on the block. And last but not least, please do not invite me to another dang blasted “toy party”. Heck, some things are just plain private. I don’t want to know what you do or how you are doing it.
I will however love to meet and network. Let’s have meetings of the minds, share ideas and business strategies. Is there a new play or comedy show in town…let’s go! If I can ever find those kind of like minded individuals near me I’d be a very happy person. I guess they are like me and keep to their own circles. I thank God that I was able to transform my job into a home based business. I'd go batty out here with nothing to do every day.
My husband has been military for just over a year now and I will admit that I still have quite a few issues with how things are around here. Maybe it’s just me...maybe I just don't fit in. I don't feel as though I am married to the military. I'm married to my husband and this is his “Job”. We support each other in our different activities. I work hard to maintain my separate identity from my husband AND my children. There is one promise that I made to myself years ago that I actively remind myself of everyday and that is to REMEMBER that my name was Eufayba long before it became Mom or Mrs. Touray and that Eufayba has needs, likes and dislikes that WILL be taken into consideration…this is not an option. I know you’ve heard the saying that Hell hath no fury….. Well, I’ve altered it to suite my needs. HELL HATH NO FURY THAN A PISSED OFF ME. Take heed…if the “Mom/Wife” is unhappy…then the whole house will be miserable. This attitude has really helped me since I moved on post. It seems that so many women lose their individual identities to this military life. The sole focus is on the soldier and the children. It’s rare that I strike up a conversation with another wife and it doesn't turn into a "@itch session" with tons of complaints about the way things are, the husband, the post, the town etc, etc. I’m happy that people feel as if they can talk to me, and I love to meet new people and have exciting conversations but OMG the load can get heavy at times, especially when no matter what positive spin you try to put on it they have to add a "but" to it. Good grief, you've got to remain positive...it’s not an option. So not only am I battling what’s on my mind but now I have your issues weighing heavy on my heart too. I know misery loves company but please don’t take me down with you. If I let every negative thought take root I'd be a miserable individual. That's not to say that I don't have my days...I just deal with them differently.
When my husband decided to join the military it was a “conscious decision”. I knew he would eventually be deployed, I knew that we would eventually have to move. I knew that I would be ALONE WITHOUT A MAN FOR A YEAR OR MORE. I made a “conscious decision” NOT to let this time be “HELL” for me.
