You Found Me…I Didn’t Find You…

First born to an ex black panther
Who wanted a son…

To an ex marine
Who raised …a soldier

Too many step mother’s to name...
The little girl learns early …
The game ….
Of how men and women do their thang …

DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO…
Your just in house punnanny baby (the girl thinks to herself)
Of this woman who will soon be replaced by another…
You see, some women like to be super step mommy
To prove their love to that man…

Until mad day comes along….
And the little girl is all alone….

...Again

I want my mommy

Missing the feel of a mother’s arms…
The advise only a mother can give her little girl…
Sick and tired of being a motherless child…
The little girl who is now a young woman….

Plans…

I’M GONNA GO FIND MY MOMMY…
(You found me…I didn’t find you…)

Ignoring a that nagging voice in the back of her head…
The young woman plans and searches …
In secret…
Behind her father’s back to find the woman who gave her life…
The Goddess of her dreams…
The savior of her soul…
Her sanity…
Her everything…

(You found me…I didn’t find you…)
On the day of her first sons birth…
She ignores the labor pains and rejoices…
I’VE FOUND HER…MY MOMMY IS HERE!!!!

(You found me…I didn’t find you…)

"I love you…I miss you…come be with me!" mommy says…
That was all I needed to hear.
(You found me…I didn’t find you…)
Without the blessings from her father the young woman leaves for California…
Leaving her EVERYTHING behind…
RUSHING TO THE ARMS…
OF HER MOTHER…

(You found me…I didn’t find you…)

And after the first few weeks
The woman who had been the subject of my reoccurring dreams
For as long as I could remember……

WOULDN’T INTRODUCE ME TO ANYONE…
WOULD BARLEY TALK TO ME…
WOULDN’T EVEN HOLD MY SON…

Let alone…
My hand…..
(You found me…I didn’t find you…)
One night she waited until everyone had gone to sleep
Called me to her room…
And said…

YOU FOUND ME…I DIDN’T FIND YOU…

Damn…….